SHE CRUCIFIED IT ALL ..

ilham_4u = this term is used a lot of times here, just for your information, she [shima] gathered all that i had said the other day to her and then she went on killing . . what a massacre, read for yourself......

lham_4u : i really liked ur mail it was far better than mails written by ghalib to his pals..

this is comparison and is totally wrong , valuable writings those are written to carry a especial sense or sth like this are not comparable, although they have the same aim but but but if u are comparing it means u read it wrongly .......how??? true reading is ( i think) once reading as u are and as urself then reading as the writer is , this may be catched just in especial moment to understand first the soal of that then the sense of writer and her/his situation and of course these are nothing to do with its influence on u, first one accompany with understanding and analyzing second with inspiration , and intuition.

ilham_4u : i loved his letters too

im about to kill myself! just LOVE is not enough , uuuuuu u think he has written them that u like it or love it????????? no first one for expressing a moment of understanding then communicating with one especial person or group of ppl ( hold it )

so as soon as u are looking this way to this : first u are insulting urself then the writer , he would have yeeeeeeeld if he knew ur view , not u not a writer atleast, as long as u love it it means u are about to influence by it , this means something with ur sense , this is equal with ignoring analysis and then ANGLES yyyy dont u just once put urself instead of them nor try to take their stand , they are so generous to borrow it for a while , believe me.

ilham_4u : n they cum up to me to show me my prblms

so u must first appriciate them, as so great ppl in life have found their way ( communicating n knowing ) through this gift ,this means they are trying to communicate with u through whatever u offer and magnify prb in this way but uuuuuuuuuuuuuu ,....u urself tell!

ilham_4u : jus so many... acha listen y cant i have smthing smthing so well connected with media .. tht can make me reach ppl ..

ilham_4u : can help me shower wat i have .

a gun for me !!!!!!! and u listen ( y i cant have something???) my god ..a critic just said first its better to know how we must ask and what we must ask be4 we try to find the answer. this match with u exactly y u cant have ...bcz u dont wanno remember that u CAN , in art and literature there are lots of different style that u can communicate through it , can say one simple thing is different way so ur style is not properly matched with those media style, i bet u havent ask any of them about the guality that ur work must have to be proper for that , if u want this kind u must find first its field then offer writing.

make me reach ppl ( its wonderful that im still breathjing with this one!)MR RAMIZ ILHAM for god sake hear this one : reaching ppl is not separated from ppl themselves so soooooooooooo u must first know them as they are through this routine life , experiencing and understanding and feeling everything through their angle and their points of view even if they are wrong , , and this is not separate from past , invironment and many other things , they are as generous as the first group that they can borrow their sit to u ! touch their life . i dont know can u get it??? dont say u have alrady done it bcz if it was so u could reach them and wouldnt have looking for way to it .

ilham_4u : can help me shower wat i have ( this one) maybe im abnormal to think so , i dont know y ppl wanno yell what the have , there is sth wrong with it , if u insist in sharing what u have so it means this is not dynamic but dull bcz its still and u have hold it and u are trying to share it , so each moment is dynamic , prb is : how can this 2 be mached with each other when such a bid difference exist . just in a case that u upgrade it , if u do it u wont have time to stand for ........ .

i think exactly at the moment u think u have catched something valuable and surrender urself to the passion of telling it , u have ruined it all , bcz u havent given it time to settle inside u , adapt with u and be digested and matched with u , so havent give enough time to see it and understand it more and better ( different agl;es i mn and analysing)

ilham_4u: i mn these days i was tryin to get connected with media ppl... but they jus hav no time they'r bz exploring y tht bomb blasted even when security was there ... who was involved .. how many died .. n so on

its what media really is, there is a simple rule u are not like me , there are too many different point and less common things but im communicating with u and many other ppl who are too far of even imaginig . such a thing is just bcz of KEY , everyone and everything has a magic key , if u wanno communicate influentially with them u must find that key anf use it. i bet u even havent given it a try ( if im wrong u wouldnt have this prb too) look all the wolrd try to msg u and pay ur attention to this but uuuuuu still havent wear ur glasses to get this. to be honest if u dont care about it , u must be waiting for unexpected things tht are just those repeatetive msd send to u in different way and u have ignored them in many different way .

ilham_4u : n when they read wat i gave them they say .. ur a miracle it was fantastic .. smthin tht they never read bfo .. but but but un fortunately not capable of coming into media

so y dont you try to adapt it?

ilham_4u : i take my words back

never ever do this when u are talking with me ur word are my hint although u believe that u are not hiding but unconsciously you are doing it .

ilham_4u : aftr 5000 yrs smthing happens in india this time i've discovered it .. i'll share it with u thru e mail ( this seems attractive share this discovery will like it i think)

im so tired of these analysis, i dont wanno do it each person is fantastic , a wonderful miracle but alas he rarely have time to discover himself , i really ask god to help u reach ur targets sooner , but just when u are worthy enough to have them , otherwise they will be useless .

DONE ..... by the way my words in previous mail werent perfectly mine , felt so while i was reading a part of Sohrab's poems , and he hjad felt so by touching another fact , if ..just if u stand instead of them feel as well as them u will find creativity key in writing and inspiring .sometime i think im like a doll for u ! u just turn it on to talk and it say all the times one thing but u keep turning on and off .

PERCEPTION OF A READER

1- One of the reasons that writers write is putting footprint behind for any reason.

2- As a reader may look at those books as footprints that have put behind and shows their ideas and present their thoughts and their personalities and almost is a media for readers to catch or receive those messages.

About the first, I must say that if a writer think about putting such a thing behind, can never fall in that matter make him write about, can never be successful who think or even a little want it make a invisible wall that you can never be conscious of that will cause that always something be like half or wrong, a feel like something temporary in a condition you want immortality.

About the second, most of them when finish reading if they feel close to what have read or if like that or be touched by that, have received that message indirectly as long as they look at book and all those line and all those words, they never receive that fact which its beating has been the reason of writing, so they can never know the writer and her/his aim of that properly, its not absolute because most of them receive more than half of that and the other half will be complete with reasonable mind activity , so everything seems good just …..Something valuable that its credit is because of its pureness and is deserved to be conveyed perfectly, will remain half.

Because of this fact you can see so many fans of writers that adore someone and all he/she has written and all those golden thoughts and …etc, but in practice they have paradox, they cant apply them in real actual life and it’s the reason of receiving something as a fact or something acceptable and logical with intermediate, because they couldn’t break physical shape and outer border to catch that purely, ….easily influenced by these outer media , so if someone prove them that their favorite writer has been a perfect filth in her/his life, the personality, credit and all those written by that writer will be easily put under question, its not definitely writers fault but can be weakness of readers personality that they didn’t even want it but because of receiving half due to intermediate, so all those will fall less than a second because of feeble bases that they have made just because lacking of self knowledge and the blank of considering the reason of so many things they do everyday.

Nothing seems wrong in fact but you know, if some of them be supposed to be writers so, the fact of some words (footprint, behind, name of writers books of them and words) that is supposed to act as a media temporary but not be media, will convey them what beat in writers vein not as pure as it must be. All these make dependency.

Anyway, you can be close to fact with passing over Medias, outers and physical shapes, with observing and understanding everything and everyone and their souls without intermediate.

DIMENTION..

Sometimes I think about myself in different shapes, mean everyone and everything; once someone said me: you are full of ego to think like that.

The matter is they are not me but me, and I know that I'm not even mine!

There is always differences that I never have wanted to be removed, all are in a road its not separated one but seems to be separated, all are its passenger whether know that or not, the matter is that being a fellow-traveler in one road doesn’t mean being similar, and being similar sometimes can be the reason of stop!

What make the motivation of movement is difference and diversity of opinions (more than similarity), not being obedient or submission and accepting wholly, nor disappearing and vanishing one in another; like love that is said: perfect dissolution of individuality in crowd, but about something ultra earth, but terrestrial one is involved in presence not in vanishing in each other because of reaching to a perfection or betterment with similarity or obeying the same rule and having the same life styles so the importance and quality of coexistence cant be ignored which its base can be affection, love kindness or a mixture of all but with keeping individuality honestly that needs its own policy, that is keeping independency in unity, in fact its accepting to complete each other not by ignoring but with donating some parts to catch peace, coexistence, agreement …etc.

No one must be a pale shadow of another one and no one is allowed to do it and it’s the fact that everyone accept but just in words not in acting so sometimes you have to accept it, in act because of condition or respect rules or ….! But the fact is it will remain as your base in all your existence, perhaps this must happen to make the initial things firm in you, yes for making something firm it’s a usual way to be in opposite situation to understand and believe it actually for not doing like that, if you taste it actually you will know it perfectly better than just saying it writing it with words, it’s the payment of catching its soul! I'm talking about bit by bit of realities and irreplaceable current facts of life.

It depended to you and the angle that you choose for looking at it; it's just the matter of what you are looking for in it; dejection and sadness or excitement of experiencing it as a part of life to grasp its rule for needed times or even for changing it.

Its our rights to have different view point but if someone don’t accept in relation with you according to some rights that she/ he gives to her/himself so according to policy of life you have to calm down temporary and accept being on compulsory condition to find its solution fighting will cause to loose more things and will remove the chance of experiencing it and the peace you need for considering, so tell me, which one is real winner who wants others obeying without knowing the fact of her/his words or whom face with it, eat it and digest it to prove the truth of that at least to her/himself?

Yes first time it comes upon unawareness and because you don’t know it have to loose something to catch the knowledge of dominating to it for the next time? Can't it be fairly? It will going to your world's archive forever and will never be like that (if it happen again it will be your fault for not considering it properly).

Dear these are rules of your game, you yourself have started it and define it with this word so for continuing you have to loose sometimes to know rules better leaving it is just running away and be sure that even after 100 years it will come to you like this again so its better to face it in its own time, never deposit your heart to the vast sorrow's sea just because of a temporary experience, sea is you yourself, sometimes is stagnant for increasing its potential power for moving and encompassing everywhere for telling a letter of time's kind, so pass the storm properly even with loosing some of boats but be sure that even hardest storm is just a guest for sea not its owner.

Never think that life is life without your presence, your activity, your human look, your resistance, your fighting ability, your love, your faith, your belief, your anger and explosion and you…life is just a mixture of human's dreams, ideals and activity, that is unique for everyone and company in relation with others, its nothing without human or even less than it. Don’t let any agitation's breeze bend you.

Remaining in this and accepting or experiencing it is your payment for buying pen, paper and real subjects to write it or change it if needed according to your own rule for whom has the same definition or even just for expressing your own idea that awaken sleepy passengers.

We are here to complete each other with all our faults not for counting them or losing hope but for take a new step with all pains, sorrows, wounds and deep sad nesses during it that even all these pass of time's filter will change to something unexplainable but pleasant!

Never forget that someone who makes or want to change something must accept showers of stones by who loves halting and repose, expecting all of them to accept you easily and wholly are too much! Sometimes you have to leave some things for keeping the border of reverence that is like a crystal bowl, if let it be broken can never be renovated properly.

It's just your approach that can create hope or hopelessness, must learn how to look at bitter things to find them constructive and energetic.

Excavating power from weakness, calmness from disorders and changing the disillusionment's stone to a stable sculpture is the human's task that has accepted the responsibility of this title and has involved with it, believe that it's not a complex philosophical deep sight!!!! To life and its values, it's just looking at it simple and truly, and I know someone who loves and knows ghibran, who has experienced pain, who believe the soul of betterment, who has donated his hand for writing, his eyes for absorbing and all his cells for finding and digesting the fact, will live truly that he is the essence, soul and self of his life.

What do you want of life? How do you want it? Make it.

Perhaps yours create a serious faithful revision amongst dark obscured field of daily life, or perhaps throw a stone into dull waters to at least remind it sea or its nature or something unknown but real like a forgotten fact.

Perhaps it be the first sentences of a new story….. .

ADVICE THAT REMAINS IN SOUL..

I think that totally people divide into two groups:

1- A wide group of people ( 90%) which continue their life routinely without feeling the need to know more or deeper ,because of this they don't think deeply about things , people , themselves and the quality of their doings and will accept so many things without knowing the essence of that really .

2- 10% remaining that cannot continue without thinking deeply about themselves, their acts, and their life and... . It is because they are usually idealist and more sensitive, so they feel and see more than its usual, and can't close their eyes into so many thing.

For the second group everything will start with a question that is not obvious at first and will expand to everything, (it doesn't mean that the first group haven't this, they have but won't influenced by this deeply or for a long time). After this, the person will fall in doubt about so many things, which up to this time accept automatically without his/her direct choice in them containing: some duties, belief, routine acts, religion.......(depended).

These need to a new look at them and considering its right and wrong and its qualities. After this, you can define yourself, your aim and your personal life, which all will change with this. New definition need to think deeply, this need to experience your thoughts, which needs to new knowledge about real fact for upgrading your soul.

Other things must consider are:

1- Everyone and everything is on changing but among these, a stable fact is, which will never change and it's unique for everyone. It's in your heart and can be found by yourself.

2- it's just you in this finding, others just can support you or supply media for you or perhaps can be your consultant but discerner is just you who choose, so you must accept and tolerate all its bitters, sweets and hardness. So don't wait for anyone whom change your condition because they are not in your heart, nor in your mind. (They are there as themselves not as your rule).

3- You told me want to catch things soon, also afraid of loosing your capability. I think it's impossible because you have it instinctually, but if you can't write now like before it's just because you don’t want to train your ability nor improve its quality. These need to time, effort and new experiences.

If I hadn't seen your picture, I would never said these. I know writers well and i'm sure that you can be one of them, I don't judge just on face but you have involved eyes, which almost writers have, perhaps explained like this:

Both writers and poets mentally and actually are among different people and different condition and are sensitive toward them, also influenced by them. The difference is: the poets are influenced with their feelings about these, write by looking from upward to them, and can't stay among them, but writers are influenced by their mind then feel them. It means that they firstly analyze them and for writing will stick among them and look at them nearby, so are more involved with these.

You are among the second group, just you don't study enough. If you can't write it's because your soul need to new things because of its changing and you ignore it to be and to do like before. You can't do things automatically anymore because the need to knowing fact is inside you now whether you ignore it or not!

As I experience in another field, I think for being a writer:

At first, you must know different styles and masters on them, read about each style and criticize them and consider your viewpoints in relation with other critical viewpoints.

Secondary must know different people from different nationality and culture to find your total rules and knowledge, also to dominate on them for using wisely in your stories. To reach it you must consider human being since first civilization and think about their thoughts by what is remain from them. At last, all these cause to reach the true definition of yourself and a fact in your own viewpoint.

After all these, you can reach to your special style in writing. I think a successful story is which everything on this is meaningfully as a representation of writer's thoughts and purpose

Be sure that you must move and decide yourself because it's your own life, and from this age you are directly responsible for all these. So it's better to live in your moments with all changes and unpredictable happenings and try to pass each day as it's perfection, then surely the future will be as you want, as it must be.

I hope to be successful.

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SHIMA wrote me this when i was puzzled.