SHE CRUCIFIED IT ALL ..

ilham_4u = this term is used a lot of times here, just for your information, she [shima] gathered all that i had said the other day to her and then she went on killing . . what a massacre, read for yourself......

lham_4u : i really liked ur mail it was far better than mails written by ghalib to his pals..

this is comparison and is totally wrong , valuable writings those are written to carry a especial sense or sth like this are not comparable, although they have the same aim but but but if u are comparing it means u read it wrongly .......how??? true reading is ( i think) once reading as u are and as urself then reading as the writer is , this may be catched just in especial moment to understand first the soal of that then the sense of writer and her/his situation and of course these are nothing to do with its influence on u, first one accompany with understanding and analyzing second with inspiration , and intuition.

ilham_4u : i loved his letters too

im about to kill myself! just LOVE is not enough , uuuuuu u think he has written them that u like it or love it????????? no first one for expressing a moment of understanding then communicating with one especial person or group of ppl ( hold it )

so as soon as u are looking this way to this : first u are insulting urself then the writer , he would have yeeeeeeeld if he knew ur view , not u not a writer atleast, as long as u love it it means u are about to influence by it , this means something with ur sense , this is equal with ignoring analysis and then ANGLES yyyy dont u just once put urself instead of them nor try to take their stand , they are so generous to borrow it for a while , believe me.

ilham_4u : n they cum up to me to show me my prblms

so u must first appriciate them, as so great ppl in life have found their way ( communicating n knowing ) through this gift ,this means they are trying to communicate with u through whatever u offer and magnify prb in this way but uuuuuuuuuuuuuu ,....u urself tell!

ilham_4u : jus so many... acha listen y cant i have smthing smthing so well connected with media .. tht can make me reach ppl ..

ilham_4u : can help me shower wat i have .

a gun for me !!!!!!! and u listen ( y i cant have something???) my god ..a critic just said first its better to know how we must ask and what we must ask be4 we try to find the answer. this match with u exactly y u cant have ...bcz u dont wanno remember that u CAN , in art and literature there are lots of different style that u can communicate through it , can say one simple thing is different way so ur style is not properly matched with those media style, i bet u havent ask any of them about the guality that ur work must have to be proper for that , if u want this kind u must find first its field then offer writing.

make me reach ppl ( its wonderful that im still breathjing with this one!)MR RAMIZ ILHAM for god sake hear this one : reaching ppl is not separated from ppl themselves so soooooooooooo u must first know them as they are through this routine life , experiencing and understanding and feeling everything through their angle and their points of view even if they are wrong , , and this is not separate from past , invironment and many other things , they are as generous as the first group that they can borrow their sit to u ! touch their life . i dont know can u get it??? dont say u have alrady done it bcz if it was so u could reach them and wouldnt have looking for way to it .

ilham_4u : can help me shower wat i have ( this one) maybe im abnormal to think so , i dont know y ppl wanno yell what the have , there is sth wrong with it , if u insist in sharing what u have so it means this is not dynamic but dull bcz its still and u have hold it and u are trying to share it , so each moment is dynamic , prb is : how can this 2 be mached with each other when such a bid difference exist . just in a case that u upgrade it , if u do it u wont have time to stand for ........ .

i think exactly at the moment u think u have catched something valuable and surrender urself to the passion of telling it , u have ruined it all , bcz u havent given it time to settle inside u , adapt with u and be digested and matched with u , so havent give enough time to see it and understand it more and better ( different agl;es i mn and analysing)

ilham_4u: i mn these days i was tryin to get connected with media ppl... but they jus hav no time they'r bz exploring y tht bomb blasted even when security was there ... who was involved .. how many died .. n so on

its what media really is, there is a simple rule u are not like me , there are too many different point and less common things but im communicating with u and many other ppl who are too far of even imaginig . such a thing is just bcz of KEY , everyone and everything has a magic key , if u wanno communicate influentially with them u must find that key anf use it. i bet u even havent given it a try ( if im wrong u wouldnt have this prb too) look all the wolrd try to msg u and pay ur attention to this but uuuuuu still havent wear ur glasses to get this. to be honest if u dont care about it , u must be waiting for unexpected things tht are just those repeatetive msd send to u in different way and u have ignored them in many different way .

ilham_4u : n when they read wat i gave them they say .. ur a miracle it was fantastic .. smthin tht they never read bfo .. but but but un fortunately not capable of coming into media

so y dont you try to adapt it?

ilham_4u : i take my words back

never ever do this when u are talking with me ur word are my hint although u believe that u are not hiding but unconsciously you are doing it .

ilham_4u : aftr 5000 yrs smthing happens in india this time i've discovered it .. i'll share it with u thru e mail ( this seems attractive share this discovery will like it i think)

im so tired of these analysis, i dont wanno do it each person is fantastic , a wonderful miracle but alas he rarely have time to discover himself , i really ask god to help u reach ur targets sooner , but just when u are worthy enough to have them , otherwise they will be useless .

DONE ..... by the way my words in previous mail werent perfectly mine , felt so while i was reading a part of Sohrab's poems , and he hjad felt so by touching another fact , if ..just if u stand instead of them feel as well as them u will find creativity key in writing and inspiring .sometime i think im like a doll for u ! u just turn it on to talk and it say all the times one thing but u keep turning on and off .